Pregnant stripper...not hot.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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