If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
