ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
