I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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