If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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