i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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