yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
