Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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