There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
