all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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