Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
