Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
