he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
