dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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