yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
