I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
