if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
