So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
