so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Randomize
