yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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