Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
