All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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