You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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