Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
