yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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