Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
