You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
