My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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