so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
