why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
PANTIES FOUND
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
