I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
