i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize