what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
