It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
