after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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