the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
