my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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