If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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