What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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