i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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