i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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