Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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