I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize