..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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