ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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