Im at strip club and am horny
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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