we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
