Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
