I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
