ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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