I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
