She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
