i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
