you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
