the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
be right there i have to get my cape
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
