We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Randomize
