I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
