redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
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My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
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There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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