i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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