I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
