i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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