have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
