Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
