Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
