i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
