NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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