Your tits are I can't wait for
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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