he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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