I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
