You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The air taste purple.
Randomize
