She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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